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This is my husband and I about 8 years ago. I'm 18 in this picture and my mum and I had gone to Norfolk,Virginia in the USA to see D while he was serving in the US Navy there. We were engaged. 

My, what a way we have come from this image. D and I met on the bus home from school. My sister introduced us when I was 12 but we re-met and started to hang out every morning and afternoon when I was 14. He asked me out over MSN (although he argues it was AOL) a couple of months after we started spending time with each other. 

Since then, we broke up 2 or 3 times (well... he broke up with me!), we got married, we travelled the world and saw our lives take a road we thought we'd never walk and we became parents. This December we will be celebrating our 6th anniversary and this past July we celebrated being together for 11 years. 

D and I were seeking counselling 2 months into our marriage. The first 2 years were the hardest years of our lives. At times, calling it quits was a little too close for comfort. It was hard. We both got hurt and we definitely discovered what rock bottom was. But.... I'd do it again if it meant we became what we are today. 

The details are irrelevant. I think the point of this posting for me is to encourage you marrieds out there to be real. Resentment is dangerous and can form scars that are hard to move past. Neither of us were ok to be in a mediocre relationship. We've fought hard to be here today but I can joyfully say that D is my best friend and love of my life.  I think we're where we are though, because we opened up straight away. We talked about it... and we got a third party in pretty quickly. Sometimes without the third party you can be having the same arguments day in and day out with neither feeling heard or appreciated. Lets get real about marriage. Its awesome!! Its also really hard! Find other couples older, younger and your age that you are investing in to and are investing into you. Be surrounded by marriages that inspire. D and I have some friends and family who's marriages have spurred us on. Have a support system that stands around you when you are honest about being in a challenging season with your spouse. Don't let moments of hurt build scars of resentment. Don't try to walk  the road alone... just you two... you might kill each other :) Don't settle for "mostly happy". 

I was at one of my dearest friends weddings about 3 or so years ago and when the Dad gave his speech he said something so extremely beautiful and poetic that I pray over my marriage. He said "my prayer is that in years to come you will look back at today as the day you loved each other the least". I never thought I could love D more than the day I married him... well thats what I felt on that day. Now... I do look back and I feel like I didn't even know what love was or the depth it could go - and we're only 6 years in!! Many challenges in the road ahead I know, but I couldn't imagine walking through the fire with anyone else. Bring it on! 

I have so much to learn (6 years in, I'm still a newbie wife really)! So please if you are reading this and are married and have wisdom to offer, comment below. Use this virtual community to uplift and support others.

 


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    I'm a believer in Jesus, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mum, a nurse, a dancer, a singer, a missionary, a student, a preacher and a wanna-be 50's fashionista.